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Cosmopolitan

Dear Anna Rosenfeld

Well, that's what the first line of the Gmail said.

Actually calling me her name??

My Co-Mod Otter forwarded this email to me, it was from LJ, they want more money, a computer-generated letter no doubt.

But OMG do you want to get my attention or what?? Like an electric shock!

Especially now! It's Thursday 01 October right now and tomorrow, once all goes well, JetBlue will scoop me up here in Boston and we will go 35,000 feet and six hours into Seattle, then by bus down to Olympia and Evergreen.

It won't be like last time, feels totally different, last time was Aug 2008 and I was on my way to Israel, first choosing a few pebbles on campus to prepare to take overseas where I would hold a private ceremony celebrating her life... placing pebbles or stones on someone's grave is part of the Jewish burial tradition. But things turned out differently, my guide (and Ki's former model and lover) had almost been killed in a car crash so my trip was to visit her in the hospital, then on to one of Ki's most important creative sites for her photography near Jerusalem, and the ceremony was held there... it was really for all of you, her LJ Friends, whom I mentioned in the ceremony I wrote...

As she would say, I digress.

This time there will be lots of photographs -- in April 2008 I didn't yet have a camera, I certainly do now, a Digital Rebel type S SLR (hers was a Rebel xTi)... and I think I've mentioned that it might be my physical eye that sets up the shots and my physical finger that presses the button, but it will be Kiota in her presences who will really be doing all the sessions. The weather will be spooky and terribly rainy and we will go down to the Pacific Ocean on a campus trail, as we'd planned in 2008 but never did, and Otter asked for photos, and she will certainly get them, and I will publish some here too.

This time will not be closure for mee, for those last four days we shared before her suicide. This time will be all about going onwards. And, upwards.

The day I fly home to Boston it will be almost seven years plus half of another since Ki had gone on to her new re-birthday.

Ki would have been 26 years old last April 30, so she is now almost 26-and-a-half, by our count.

In whatever ways we allow her to come close to us and keep coming if we wish it, and those are highly personal, those numbers of fractional 26 mean nothing.

You can't number eternity.

Not yours, not mine.

And that is the ultimate blessing she leaves with us.

Then, now, tomorrow, anytime.

Beyond time. Beyond space. And as near as your next breath.

Blessings Be from Brad

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