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machaya hamatim April 30, 1989

"...think of it as birth. you have to be in tremendous pain, you have to really suffer, but at the end of it you get a sweet, pure, beautiful baby. That's what you're going through right now. Birth pains to deliver the new Anna --- sweet pure and beautiful."
(2008-04-12 post by Lotus82)

"I am echoing what Silverplate88 said... we love you and whether you believe it or not, we're your family, your chosen family, made up of friends who, though we may not talk all the time, love you very much."
(2008-04-13 post by Friend)

Think of it as birth. Lotus82 was the first responder to Ki's last LJ post. There were many, many others. Reaching into the hundreds.

One of the enduring shocks is that 13 April (Sunday) and 30 April (Wednesday) came so close together --- only seventeen days apart. Seventeen days until Ki's 19th birthday.

Today is her 26th.

As I type this, it is 3:34 in the morning right here in Cambridge, MA, USA. It is 10:34 in the morning, Thursday, in Efrata (Ki's home town in Israel) and at Kfar Etzion cemetery, Israel, where she lies now. IDT (Israel Daylight Time) is seven hours ahead of the east coast of the USA.

Shabbat (Jewish holy day) starts tomorrow, Friday,at sundown IDT.

Because this is 30 April, there will be remembrances at her marker stone today. There will be people to bring the remembrances and they will witness in silent communion for a moment. For some, it will be a long moment. They will be bringing themselves as living memorials. There will be members of her family, some still living nearby.

For her mother, it will always be especially hard. It's said that once you lose a child, there is a permanent hole in your life that you always carry with you.

We can also do a memorial witness from wherever in the world we are this morning, from wherever our lives have taken us now. And with whomever is special to us now.

Your co-Mod and I have determined that her PostPoems link no longer works, the site went through a revision a couple years back to focus on new, active members. Ki is not even listed anymore in their archives, when I tried to find her. Her last entry there was twelve years ago, guess the PostPoems managers think that makes her inactive.

(What do they know.)

I am planning on setting up a new, private site which I can link you to, I will design and own it, and I will restore not only all 22 poems she originally shared there in 2003, but a few random additional pieces. That way, her work will be safe from erasures and always available to you.

Think of it as rebirth.

Who is remembered, lives.

"I will live forever in the hearts of those who love me." That quote is from 65_redRoses, Eva Markvoort, whose LJ is now a memorial --- just as Lotus82's is.

And "machaya hamatim" is the Hebrew transliteration over one of the doors to the interfaith chapel at the Dublin International Airport in Ireland. It means "life everlasting", lasting in all the worlds which might open themselves to you. Or, you to them.

There are many variations of life... if we are blessed, if we are given the grace, we can open to more than one.

At the same time.

A happy and blessed day to you all from Silverplate88/Brad


I'd like to someday visit her grave, but I don't know if my health is ever going to allow it.
Yeah, BK, health was also an issue for me too, much more for Lois: she was gonna be my guide but the very day I got on my El Al flight at JFK to fly to Tel Aviv, she was hit by a car (he was out-of-control)at high speed. So my visit was not to Ki's grave but to Lois in the hospital.

Israel is very dry, much of it is a desert which they've reclaimed into a modern nation. Very hot and oppressive, I was there in August 2008. Ki's first cousin E is from Texas, USA, she went to the funeral the previous April, she and Ki are just about equal in age.

Her memoir says, in part: "Israel's a pretty amazing place. There are hills everywhere. No topsoil either, which was interesting to see... we soon arrived at the gravesite. Beautiful place. There were flowers and plants all over the place, and graves were situated beneath this sort of umbrella of tree branches expanding all across the area."

The cemetery name is Kfar Etzion and it isn't reachable by public transportation, although there are roads -- Lois was going to cab it out there with me.

E's reference to hills refers to the fact that we are in the West Bank which is indeed hilly, just eastward beyond the desert plain. VERY rock-strewn hills. If you GoogleMaps Efrat and get directions to Kfar Etzion you can see exactly where.

E also had this to say about her own health: "for those of you who don't know, my health has been alarmingly bad for the past few years. My weight is barely over 100 pounds and I throw up and faint at random. I also literally lack a sense of smell..."

I'm sure her mom -- Kiota's mom's sister --- kept a close watch over E all the time they were there.

E wrote a memoir when they flew back to Texas, and posted it publicly. That's my underpinning to repeat some of it for you :)

Wishing you comfort and good health...
O BK sorry to catch up with you a bit late, hope this finds you feeling somewhat better as you can... Israel is a wondrous place, I went there in Sept 08 to make the exact same visit, but my guide Lois -- one of her best friends -- had been hit by a car and almost killed the day I flew out of JFK, so my visit was to her in the hospital instead of Cfar Etzion. Ki's presence was very much all around me, though, as I traveled, really *inside* me --- even took the same bulletproof bus she'd done many times, bus stop just down the street from her house, going back into Jerusalem...

Her presence was strong then, it still is right now, more than 7 years afterward, as I type this...

Blessings Be from Brad / Silverplate 88 (Co-Mod of her site)