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lost time is not found again

I stand in awe and I take my place
You break your promises all over the place --
You take your file and you bend my head
You never can remember anything that I've said
You promised to love me, but what do I see?
Just you tryin' to spill your juice over me!
You promised to love me, but what do I know?
You spillin' juice on me like you got someplace to go --
Odds and ends, odds and ends,
Lost time is not found again.


No, if this sounds familiar it's not for your love of Ki, it's of your love for Bob Dylan, who wrote these lyrics in 1967 and released "Odds and Ends" in 1969, and Ki was still twenty years away from us.

But she is teaching us about lost time, both then and now. Both during her short years here and through her eternity now.

Ki, as well as all the rest of us, would attach a whole different meaning to "file" than Bob did, the first computer files weren't around till the 'eighties. Dylan wrote in code in a lot of his songs, sometimes completely ("Quinn the Eskimo" is a perfect example) -- so it's up to us to feel what "juice" means.

So this post is about odds and ends, odds and ends of recordkeeping. I've been reposting a lot of Ki's poems here in her memorial to keep them fresh. I actually was led to PostPoems, where her work has now gone away, by one of her European Friends in May 2008, did my transcriptions then and also the next February. Since her original LJ had soon also been erased...

When I've restored her PostPoems site material and I can link you to it, I'll probably only include this index as a guide, I want all of me to go away (these LJ entry titles are all mine and much of the comment is too) --- because I want those entries to be pure HER.

This is from my Overview, written in 2003.


"Ki originally opened her PostPoems account sometime on or before 28 April 2003. She posted the first seven on the morning of 28 April, two days before her 14th birthday; five more late that evening. After these first twelve, she would go on to post ten more on five later dates, for a total of 22 in her collection here; her last four poems appeared on 16 July over twenty minutes, ending just before one in the afternoon. Then she fell silent in this space, her last words being her evocative "Canon in D."

"I'm assuming that some of the work was composed currently --- May and June and July 2003. At least one poem refers to immediate writing in depression ("Uncaring", on 2 June.)"

"The PostPoems editing system lists her poems in alpha order by title...
in this present listing, I transcribed them in the same order she originally posted them on the site... this is possible because PP labels each one with the hour and minute it's posted."

I did it this way because I think it begins to show her maturity as a writer, and the excitement that first had driven her entries. Because it also shows exactly the order that she typed them into her account.

In this journal, right here, they're scattered all over the times, so this list might help you sort it out as to what came when. Before more time is lost which won't come again...

1-Catch a Song
3-If Pigs Could Fly
5-Fallen Dragon
7-To Fall
===========(2003-04-28, morning)
8-Mourn You
10-To See
12-I Am A Sunflower
===========(2003-04-28, evening)

13-Flame (2003-05-04)

14-Broken Bird
15-Moonlight Dancer
16-Wild Child

17-Uncaring (2003-06-02)

18-Fallen Angel (2003-06-04)

19-To the Stars
20-Burning Dreams
21-A Vision In Red And Blue
22-Canon in D


I will plan to include other, longer poems which were made later but are also significant... so any interested reader can have access to most or all of her posts in various sites, IN A SINGLE LOCATION.