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Rose petals

come cuddle me

Brad / Silverplate88 posting more:

The subject line here is one of the tags Ki used in her original LJ (not this memorial). The other tag was "Yet another angsty teenaged girl". Yes... and she was all that and lots lots more.

She started her LJ when she was 13, at the end of November 2002. Five years later, by the time of her last entry, she had written 2,705 entries, averaging about four every three days. She had been active in 24 LJ communities here, including advice4teens, ed_recovery, mybodytaken, lesbian. 462 LJers had Friended her, and she had Friended 206 back. Among her communities and friends, she had posted 18,107 entries (averaging more than seven each day), and had attracted 21,757 responses, more than eleven a day. By the end of June, 2008 --- at the time her LJ was taken down --- there had been well over 300 responses to her final post.  And LJ was only one of the communication channels she used. TeenHelp became another major one as she grew older --- but also as an early teenager.

My point is not the quantity (I'm sure other LJers have bigger numbers) but the depth of what she continually shared with those of us she chose to Friend. She brought us totally into her inner world... so deeply that sometimes people thought she was not a real person but a fabrication. One of her lovers, whom I shared some time with when I visited Israel, had gotten indignant.  She wrote: "She's real, she's damn real. I've seen her scars. I've talked to her doctor."

As this is her 25th birthday week (it was Wednesday), more to share:

In early May 2008 I was invited to meet the office staff at United Planet here in Boston; they have a set of small cubicles and in one of them sits the Volunteer Team Coordinator, Elizabeth Mason, who talked to me for a long time. Beth (not her real name, she's moved on since then...) is tall, straight red hair, dusting of freckles, wearing a wedding scarf from India sent as a present from a friend who married there. Beth says, "Anna is silll in all my Cambodia files, she's on the team, she pops up on my screen all the time!" Ki had sent some photos as part of her UP app, Beth brings them up on her monitor; she says, "I'm going to cry here," and we both do. Beth had called Ki in early April and accepted her interview  that way; Beth remembers Ki saying 'I just want to mentor, to save ONE child.' "She was very mature. Lots of sixteen, seventeen, and eighteen-year-old kids I talk to want to go out and save the whole world --- Anna wasn't like that." We looked at her monitor again. "I'm going to keep her there.  She'll be going to Cambodia like all the rest of them --- she affected us all very deeply. The pictures you sent, lovely.  They touched us all."

Spending time with Beth was a wrenching occasion for me.  As it is now, reading my notes about it six years later.

And another farewell from an LJ Friend: "...there were a few things that just demonstrated what a great person she was.  She was always, ALWAYS unconditionally there for people who needed help... she was always willing to talk to people who needed her, helping others, talking them out of suicide, of taking their own lives.  She was such a good person.  It's such a tragedy that she died.  I'm so sorry for all those that were close to her.  She may be gone, but the positive impact and change that she has made on the lives of many won't be." Today, this week, as then.

The motto of United Planet is drawn from the writing of Japanese poet Rynosuke Satoro: "Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean."


Blessings Be.