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remembering Lotus82

Lois was in constant contact by phone with me in the days after Sunday April 13. She was calling from Israel to Evergreen, where Security would not give her any information about Ki. (They stonewalled me too.) Finally on Wednesday the 16th (Israel time) she left a brief post:

"I called Security on her campus. It's true."

The College had made the announcement on Tuesday the 15th, providing no details other than counseling availability for students in shock. And there were some.

She and I had arranged to visit the burial site in Cfar Etzion when I arrived in Israel in August. Instead, she had just been hit by a car and was IP / ICU, and the hospital welcomed me to go see her. In our visit, something that stunned me happened.

I was sitting on her bed, she was in a chair next to it... We were discussing how bizarre it was that her husband had cut off independent communications on LJ. She said:

"Is that your camera?" {pointing to it, sitting next to me.}


"I want you to take a photo of me just like this and post it so my Friends will know I'm OK."

And, so:

IMG_0211 Cambridge to Ein Kerem (2).JPG

From what I could gather, everyone concerned breathed a cybersigh of relief and sent sympathy to her and John. The car had flipped her up across its hood and smashed her head into the windshield, she rolled off the side to the pavement.

The hospital photo was August 28, about seven days after the injury.

There was no chance we could go to the gravesite together, instead I wrote and held a memorial ceremony in Emek Re'faim, where Ki had taken an enduring series of pics of her sister Becky across and on the rails of an "Abandoned Railroad."

Lois was recovering from pelvic surgery, holds a call button in her hand, has breathing tubes to help counteract her Cystic Fibrosis (which she would die from, a couple years later), and IV antibiotics. And she cuddles her favourite stuffed animal, the hosp being off-limits to her pet cats.

She also has immense courage, to want to share her wounds with us, and awesome spirit and survival energy, which conquered her injuries little by little. I actually felt as though I might be in worse shape than she was, with my sadness and frustrated worrying, sitting there in front of all that light she was shining out.

She was very close to Ki (although the reverse was NOT true in Spring 2008), had been a model for her, shared their tales of survivorship --- which you can read about in her dArt postings. She took all the party photos at the gay-bar-ED-release-party for Nomi in 2006, and it's the largest source of photos of Ki we have. She was the first responder to Ki's last LJ post and the first to share what Security had officially said... and, after Passover was over, she had been invited by Kiota's mom Sue to come to their home and browse through the books left in Ki's room, to take what she wanted, since they both had very similar interests re PTSD and survivorship and counseling.

Lois has a memorial LJ and her LJ Username is Lotus82 and you can read more there.

So she was certainly a Friend whom we remember and might well be sharing Chai Tea with Ki right now.

As another Friend (of mine and Lois's) wrote:

"I will live forever
in the hearts of those who love me."