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Autumn Whisperings

certainly I would be honored :)

from Brad, a fragment first --

Serafima: ...I've been exhibited in several universities and galleries... would you allow me to paint this photo?

Kiota: certainly, I would  be honored. :)  I'd appreciate seeing it, though, and if you end up exhibiting it, I'd like to know.

Serafima:  Great!  And absolutely, I would let you know if exhibited!  When I am finished, if you would like a print of it, I will let you have one 10" x 10" print on canvas!


What has always stayed with me is the timing of this convo. Ki granted her permission late on the afternoon of Saturday, 12 April, 2008.  Serafima wrote back on Sunday morning.  Ki never was able to read her acknowledgement.

Serafima had approached Ki on that Friday, sent her a professional resume, explained that she was putting together a series: "This one is on abuse of the American child, still highly prevalent,"

The photo Serafima wanted permission to use was "Becky I: So Cold", she and Ki connected thru Deviant Art.  Serafima went on to work out an interpretation in oil on canvas, 30" x 30", completed it in July 2008, titled it "Cornered." Don't know if the series ever happened. S at the time was also working on an exploitation-of-children-as-soldiers series, which certainly was exhibited.

Serafima Sokolov is a Russian emigre' from East Germany (late 1980's), operates out of the Young At Art Gallery in Broward County FL, organizes workshops and tours for kids. In addition to advancing her own career. Today she's on Linked-In and Facebook, also now works in a local art supply store, still at the gallery part-time

With the storm of emotions building within Ki that last afternoon, she still was reaching out toward her own professional career. Ki was set to "raise awareness of human rights abuses" in Cambodia in June, Serafima to raise awareness of CSA in America..

Keeping multiple threads, multiple conversations going at the same is standard for lots of us, also with Ki. She was on TeenHelp, with its regional folks/managers/Live Help Operators at the same time. (They told me about it.) All you have to do is toggle back and forth.

One of the TH counselors was right there at Evergreen, too.

I hope we still realize, right now on 6 April 2015, that with a few clicks of a key, Ki could have deleted her entire LJ, all her creative writing, all her photos, everything in any account she controlled. Erased it all.  But she didn't, on that last evening. If she had, this memorial would not exist. No connections left at all, beyond personal memories.  Her parts of convos on LJ would have vanished too.

But she didn't do those clicks.

Why not?

We are one of her reasons, maybe the main one.

She knew that what she was about to do would hurt some of us deeply. She did not want to break the connections we had with one another through her. If we wanted to have a future with her, we could, even though she was ending her own.

No "delete"s.  Big reason why she remains right here, right now, very vividly.

Certainly I would be honored.

As are we all.


I miss her so much.

missing her

And she left us so very, very much of herself.